Black Mountain Tower “The Tower is more than a landmark and viewing gallery – it provides state-of-the-art telecommunications facilities for Canberra.”

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Portrait of Sol

Parliament House Old Parliament House Floriade Riding the Buses National Gallery National Museum Sleeping with Cops National Zoo CSIRO Black Mountain Tower National Archives High Court War Memorial The Big Dry CLICK ANY PHOTO TO SEE IT AT FULL SIZE	The Black Mountain Tower used to be called the Telstra Tower (for non-Australian readers, Telstra is the name of Australia’s major telecommunications company). We assume the tower was renamed when we all decided we hate Telstra because they charge too much for everything. We especially hate the CEO of Telstra, Sol, who makes $22 million a year, and we can’t afford to make a phone call to complain. Anyway, the tower sits atop Black Mountain, which isn’t far from the city; in fact the tower is so close, you can’t help seeing the damned thing no matter where in Canberra you are. So we decided to hop on a bus and go up the mountain to see the view from the tower, if only to avoid having to look at the tower itself for an hour or so. It’s not a very attractive thing, as you can see (and neither is Sol).
The bus puffed and panted like a very old man as it struggled to get up the mountain. We looked for scenic views on the way up, but it was no use – we kept going around sharp bends, surrounded by trees and rocks. Thank goodness our driver wasn’t the dreaded Mr Magoo, who probably would have had us over a cliff in a fit of grumpiness (see ‘Riding the Buses’).
When we got to the top we saw exactly how ugly the tower really is. Then we legged it up some steps, Tony having taken a precautionary shot of nitro-glycerine under his tongue, which he is prone to do in moments of physical activity, but we won’t go into that. Inside, an incredibly old woman wanted some money before she’d let us proceed. Tony said he must have a discount because he’s very old, but she said ‘Do you FEEL very old?’ and he said ‘No’, so she said ‘Then you’re NOT very old!” What a dirty trick.
Eventually we were allowed to get in the lift and soar up to the café and viewing platform, which of course was teeming with rampant children. The 360 degree view was rather fine though, and once we got our bearings and recognized some landmarks and said ‘ooh’ and ‘aah’ a couple of times, we had a cup of coffee and went down to the bottom again.
Sorry, but the Black Mountain Tower doesn’t have a website – we assume they can’t afford one after paying Sol’s enormous salary